Four mistakes guys make when dealing with their pregnant partners mood swings

Scenario A
My wife runs in crying from a half-day of work. Pushing past me, throwing her bag across the room she buries her head in a pillow in the bedroom. By the time I realise something may not be quite right I curse the day we decided to buy white bed linen as black mascara inks our pillow-cases.

Scenario B
I hear shouting from the kitchen. I jump out of the bath and find myself dripping water through the house expecting to confront a stranger. Instead I find a kitchen that is “far too small”, stinks of rotting vegetables and all ‘this’ is my fault- and didn’t I realise I’d make a mess getting out of the bath with only a hand towel wrapped around me.

These are two of many scenarios I have been faced with during the pregnancy of our first child. I hope you can learn from and laugh at my shoddy craftsmanship in the art of being a husband to a pregnant wife.

Mistake no.1: Making an attempt to understand
You may think attempting to understand the issues behind any given outburst is a gallant affair. You may wish to fix the situation that is in front of you. You may have a number of questions running through your mind such as “who has upset you? Has somebody said something? Has somebody hurt you?” The worst of these can be “have we lost the baby?”

Do not fear.

To ask any of these things means you have fallen into the trap of expecting a rational explanation for any amount of tears/mood swings that come your way.

Mistake no.2: Trying to answer rational explanations given
When reasons are given for tears or rages it is not our job to fix the situation/ provide reasoning/ be sympathetic with the ‘other side’. To do so could mean you shout at the young boy in the street or punch your wife’s boss. It could also leave you trying to explain seemingly innocuous actions and conversations from the past. Do not try to explain any wrong doing you are accused of. Such action may leave you tongue-tied and in a worse position than when the conversation began. Simply say sorry. In ten minutes time you may or may not get an apology.

Mistake no.3: Thinking saying sorry is enough
Simply put… saying sorry is not enough and must be backed up with action. This could range from making sure the dishes are clean to putting a nosy neighbour in his/her place. Other actions may involve cuddling; changing your scent/aftershave; not saying ‘that’ word again… you will learn this list is inexhaustible.

Mistake no.4: Doing too much
There are many occasions when action is no substitute for presence. You may wish to combine the first three of our mistakes by asking questions and responding to any answer given, but sometimes it is enough to just sit close to your partner. They need to know you are there and capable of empathising with them.
You can fill this silent time with whatever you will as long as you remain silent. You may relive moments of past glory; solve a problem with the project at work; rehearse asking your boss for a rise. You could work on math problems, budgeting or planning dinner. At all times remain silent with a hand gently resting on a non-sexual part of your partner’s body (…unless asked to remove).


A final thought
As there will be many tears and many rages that lead to tears it is wise to plan ahead. You must realise attempting to be the perfect partner is as noble as it is futile during the 9 months between conception and birth..

Instead I can merely suggest you ensure any eye make-up is waterproof and all pans/kitchen utensils are good and sturdy.